Being Alive
by YinYangSisters
Summary: AxC ONE SHOT. Athrun and Cagalli meet again after the second war. Second ever fic, enjoy.


Okay, my second fic, since I got a pretty good response from my first. This is a little more angsty, and I do tend to skip between fun and cuteness and SEVERE angst; but this is only very very light angst, cos I don't want to make people kill themselves with my stories...yet ;) But anyways, enjoy, please review, and if you've read my first fic, ('Of Spatulas and Stairs')please review on which one you like most. :)

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN GUNDAM SEED/GUNDAM SEED DESTINY

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Being Alive

She stood at the beach, her feet encased in sand, her pained eyes watching the sunset. Attired in her normal civilian clothing, a pale green and white striped sleeve-less shirt and matching trousers, her body stood as solid as steel, not really feeling or hearing anything around her.

The light breeze made her sun kissed blonde hair flick in numerous angles, trying to pull some kind of emotion out of her, any emotion. It failed miserably. Nothing could make Cagalli Yula Attha snap out of her thoughts when she was thinking, especially when she was thinking this hard. She laughed bitterly.

Who was she kidding? She wasn't even there anymore. In her office, in her bedroom, in those ridiculously long conferences or meetings that she forced herself to endure, when really, she was just staring at the cold, dead hands in her lap the entire time, not listening, hearing or feeling anything.

Just like now.

Well, this was better than that damn office, where read every dreary word, of some pointless contract, sign her signature, and moved to the next. It never seemed to end. Everyday, every second, every moment that she had lived.

The pain just never ended.

The sea toppled over itself, again and again, though the sound of it somewhat calmer than it appeared. The salty smell of the ocean seemed neutral to her nose now, though this was the first time she had been here since the second war ended.

How much that war had killed her inside, how much Athrun's words haunted her at night. Even her own brother's words, echoed in her clouded mind.

"There are some things which people just can't forgive, including me."

"So if every other country burns, that will be okay, as long as Orb is safe?"

The words ate at her soul, every fibre of her being. How stupid she had been, how many wrong decisions she had made. And her people died for her mistakes.

Her people died for _her_ weaknesses.

That's when she had changed. The second that sentence crossed her mind, every cell in her body changed into the politician she never thought she could ever become. In that sense, yes, her depression was good. Though she harboured such pain in her heart, at least she could be the type of politician that would only make only the best decisions for the people who lived in this world, especially for the people who lived through both the wars.

It's funny, before the second war, she would've said "The best decisions for Orb.", but Kira had shown her more than that. He had shown her that there are people still suffering outside the walls of her country, and they deserve just as much love as what she gives her own country. She was just too focused in making her deceased father proud, all in vain now.

Too bad it all came at the cost of her happiness.

The sky had lost its streaked pink walls, and had grown into deep oranges, yellows and purples. Where the horizon and the sky met seemed to be the unreachable in Cagalli's eyes. Even as a child, she would stare and stare with innocent young eyes, and wondered why it was always so far away. Why the happiest and most heavenly of things and people, seemed to be at the place where you could never reach.

Athrun stood at the back of the beach, watching Cagalli stare at the sea. He had just gotten out of his black Lamborghini; the same one Cagalli was forced to wash, while Athrun watched, after an unlucky poker game for Cagalli that took place the night before. He smiled as he remembered how carefree they were back then, how they could still be teenagers in love when the day ended, then the adults they we forced to be when the sun broke out the next day.

He made his way to her, after watching for only a few short minutes, until he was beside her, gazing at her instead of the sea.

She was thinner than before, though she was still as beautiful as the day they had met on that deserted island, if not, even more. Her long, thing hands rested on her thigh, not moving, not even twitching. Her shirt was a bit too loose for his preference, and it blew slightly, against her smooth arms. Her neck was long and elegant, as it arched its way to give her head a better view of the ocean.

And her face. "My God." He thought. When had he ever seen such intense beauty in his life?

Her skin was velvet smooth, and still slightly peachy, not pale like his. Her lips we slightly parted, barely noticeable, which she usually did while she was thinking. Her nose was delicate, and looked almost fragile, as they sat under intense amber eyes, that had lost the fire he adored, and seemed dead and lifeless. Her perfect eyebrows were calm, only affirming his theories of her being in deep thought.

"Cagalli." He said, softly, gently, almost apologetically for everything that had happened.

She turned her head slowly to him, her eyes filling up with only the tiniest hint of surprise, before going back to its emotionless state.

"Hello, Athrun."

There was pause between them, as their eyes locked, and the sea, losing its patience, wanted to hear some kind of conversation between them, as it roared and crashed against itself again, pleading for some speech.

"How have you been, Athrun? Enjoying your time in Orb?" she faced him completely, but her eyes still seemed empty.

"Cut the crap Cagalli. I'm not here to talk about insignificant things like that." He said sternly, wanting to skip the small talk and get straight to the point.

"Then why is that you're here, Athrun?" Her eyes were narrowed slightly, and a defensive wall developed in her eyes.

"I'm here to talk about _us_. Nothing else matters to me right now! And....I'm here to...to..." He cursed himself, for showing nervousness, after he had spent hours trying to figure out what to say.

"Yes?" her tone was almost dead, yet urging him to tell her what he wanted to say.

"I'm here to fix the things that I've broken. I'm here to fill the gap that's been killing me these past few months! I'm here to...I'm here to mend us both."

For the first time in months, her eyes finally portrayed actual, human, feelings. They widened in shock, her eyebrows curving upwards, her mouth opening slightly wider than before.

"But I thought you...I thought you hated me." It was almost a whisper, barely audible. Now, her eyes portrayed confusion, pure confusion of why he was doing this.

"I thought you couldn't stand what I did to you, what I did to everyone! For letting that treaty to be signed! To let our relationship fall apart like it did!"

Her eyes welled up with tears of anger and confusion, though her mind and body had taught itself not to show weakness, refusing to let the tears fall.

"Cagalli, how could you ever think I would hate you?! You're the one person who I could never hate!"

He was in pure bewilderment. Hate her? It was absurd! He could never hate her, it was physically impossible for him. She was reason why he lived ever misery filled day, and she was even fathoming the fact that he could _hate _her?!

Her face broke into a relieved and loving smile. He acted as if it was crazy, insane, and all those nights of wondering what he thought of her and silent crying her heart into her already drenched pillow seemed so worth it at this point. Her eyes were really full of emotions for once, not just dead like they were a few minutes ago. She smiled inwardly.

A few minutes was all it took for him to change her back.

Athrun closed the space between them, and crushed her small body into a hug. She gasped at his sudden actions, not knowing what to do.

"Cagalli...look. I know I've never said it but...I really do love you."

Her eyes filled up with tears of pain and anger, and they leaked out of her eyes like crystals, as she pushed him away, her face screwed up in sadness.

"NO! PLEASE DON'T SAY THAT!" She yelled, she pleaded.

"You deserve someone who will always be with you, who can really make you happy! That's why I left you with Meyrin! Athrun...don't you see?! I don't deserve you! And I'm not putting you through that pain that you went through before the war! I can't make you happy Athrun! I can't-"

He kissed her quivering lips, his own eyes, leaking a few tears of their own. He kissed her softly, gently, almost as if she would break from a touch too forceful. He tasted her tears, and the taste tore up his heart inside.

He pulled away from her stunned body. "Cagalli, don't ever say anything that stupid ever again! I love you more than anything, than _anyone_! You are the single most important thing in my life! How could you ever think, that I could love anyone else?!"

She was silent, as words failed her.

"Cagalli, I don't care whether you _want_ me in your life or not, I'll be there. Always."

"Are you...are you sure?" She astonished. Everything that her pessimistic mind had lead her to believe was wrong, though she was still grateful to it, as she knew she wouldn't have been this happy if it had taught her otherwise.

"Positive." He said, smiling and kissing her forehead, as he pulled her into another hug, which she responded to this time.

There was a long pause, as they hugged, breathing in each others scents, thinking how they were even able to breathe these past few months without each other. The waves crashed again, almost dancing at the display of affection, finally quenched with its thirst to see happiness befriend the young leader.

"You know..." Cagalli said, after a while, instantly grabbing Athrun's attention just with her voice alone.

"It was really hard, you know...since we separated at the beginning of the war, especially when I Kira took me to the Archangel." She looked down at the ocean, remembering her sorrow.

"It was like...I wasn't even living. When people talked to me, I wasn't listening. It's like I wasn't even...there."

Athrun's eyes pained at the mere thought of what she went through, but he still gently stroked her lower back, urging her to continue, regardless of the pain it was causing him.

"I kept thinking about what you said, when we met up after you joined ZAFT again..." Her eyes closed too much pain in them for her to manage, her eyebrows tensed.

"Cagalli." He said, not bearing to hear anymore. "I also came here because I want to tell you how sorry and wrong I was. I was a stupid fool...I acted like ZAFT new everything, that the Chairman new everything. Like what they did was right...like it was justice." His gave her a tense apologetic look, silently pleading for her forgiveness.

"Please Cagalli...will you forgive me?" She smiled, and then broke into a small girlish giggle, much like the one she had done when he had given her The Promise Ring.

"You sound like those cheesy movies, where I have to say 'Yes, Athrun, of course I do!' and then we get married or something!" His own face broke into a wide grin, as they started walking away from the beach, his hand holding her waist tightly.

"Well, I like the marriage part a lot..." and they both stopped, Cagalli looking inquisitively at him. "Really?" she asked a curious smile on her face.

"Of course! We _are_ still engaged, remember?" His previous grin turned into a sly one, as he watched a light blush creep onto the blonde girls face.

"Err...O yeah..." She answered, still blushing.

"What? You don't want to marry me?!" he asked, playfully tickling her against his car.

Her laugh was loud and joyous, a pleasure to listen to. "Yes! Yes! Of Course I do! I love you, you idiot!" Athrun smiled at her words, and kissed her again, no being able to pass on the opportunity.

Then, they drove back to the Attha Mansion, telling everyone the good news. And Athrun said, to a tired Cagalli, "I guess it just had to get worse, before it got better." His reply was a lazy "Mmm." with a small smile on her face. He chuckled, and decided to join the princess in her sleep.

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Second fic, DONE. Please Review. :)


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